Warm Bodies: R's Lonely Jerk Off Sessions By FallenAngel and Caravaggia

Back when Warm Bodies came out in the theaters, my life was too upside down to go see it.  Of course, even if I was able, none of my buddies wanted to see it and I certainly wasn't going in to a zombie movie alone.  (I had to pull teeth just get my friends to see Zombieland with me.)  A few weeks ago a friend of mine, knowing I had wanted to see it so bad, gave me a copy of the film as a gift.  Now the movie isn't perfect, but dang, I loved the heck out of this odd ball Romeo and Juliet story.   Perhaps my strong feelings for it were caused by three years of waiting for the Walking Dead to develop into something beyond what it started off as.  To give us some sort of goal, or at the very least, handle it's cast of characters with a lot more consistent care and respect then the writers have been.  In the movies short running time, I found characters I actually cared about! There were empathetical zombies.  There was a rare look into the mid set of a zombie and the possible evolutions of the zombies themselves, both good and bad.  Nicholas Hoults performance of the zombie R was very charming.  For those wondering, this isn't your typical zombie movie. It's not full of gore and people making stupid decisions every two seconds.  It's a light hearted horror/romance/comedy.  So if regular zombie movies aren't your thing you might want to check this out. It has more in line with a Tim Burton style of movie like Edward Scissorhands then it does to say Night of the Living Dead.
R is a young man that can't remember anything about his past, but for some reason is starting to think for himself once again.  Despite his ability to think, he is for the most part, still trapped by the behaviors of his zombie curse.  He's conflicted.  He wants more out of life, but is unable to do much of anything to fight against his hungry nature.  If he loses hope, all he knows all is lost.   Thing is, he doesn't have much to hope for, that is until one day when he meets his beloved Julie....

One of the things that inspired me from the movie was how R was still able to observe and enjoy certain things in the world.  (Maybe this ability was gained as time passed. I think the film leaves that up to your imagination to decide.)  I kindly asked the artists Caravaggia and FallenAngel to create some sexy zombie art.  Caravaggia is something of a gay zombie queen at this point and even FallenAngel has dealt in undead hentai.  He has worked with his own special zombie girl in the past, so I knew my ideas were in very good clammy hands.   
I hope you all enjoy our little selection of undead hotness...

R walks the empty streets day after day. One day he comes across the ruins of an old gay book store.  The store was ransacked years ago.  All that remains in the store front is an old standee of Ghostboy from Class Comics.  R has never seen this vision of masculinity before.  He is overcome with emotion.  His member suddenly fills with blood, stretching and creaking as it starts to come back to life.  It bursts through his rotted jeans.  R, to the shock of the other zombies is unable to control himself. He jerks off feverishly, looking deep into the cardboard cut outs eyes.  He sprays an icky, thick shower of zombie cum all over the store window time and again, until he can cum no more.

Inside the store, R discovers a rich collection of very familiar images.  He ignores the signs and enjoys himself for days.  After he is done, he gathers the sticky books up to take back to his home for...further analysis....

The real R would probably be very confused by our porning him up.

Then again.....

I always like to collect stuff based on movies I like.  The days of every movie seemingly getting merchandise is long over.  There was so little for this movie, I didn't even bother to start. The one thing I might have bought, were the dolls. I mean, I would have, if they weren't insanely expensive that is.  Who buys $200 dolls?  Don't answer that, I already know.  Lucky people..

Okay R, we will keep your true gay nature a secret... ;P