Kid Icarus Visits The Hospital And a Look At Uprisings Eggplant Wizard

Today marks the THIRD Anniversary of Dinosaurprince's Kingdom. 3 years and 666 posts later, we are still going strong. Oh, that sounds so unlucky!!! Today something funny from Fallenangel and me. Then we have a little in depth look at the new take on one of Nintendos most infamous creatures the Eggplant Wizard found in Kid Icarus Uprising.

Oh no Pit! What were you and the Eggplant Wizard doing together???? Getting a blow job can be a dangerous thing in Angel Land! ^_^ Excellent, EXCELLENT work by FallenAngel. I love his take on the Angel Nurse. I think he's nailed Pit too. So adorable! I sent him the idea and boom it was done!!! Seriously, I can' think of any strips he did so darn fast!
Hmmm maybe I should request that he tries to make a sexy Eggplant Wizard? What do you guys think? :D

I was going to publish a review on the game here on the blog, but I find that as a life long fan, there is just too much to cover. So I cropped this part out and decided to present it as it's own little piece. Enjoy! XD

I have a lot of mixed emotions about the enemies in this game. Some are fantastic, others not so much. While the game brings back almost everything from the original game character wise, it doesn't always build on them the way it should. Take Eggplant Wizard. This guy's one of the most hated and feared characters in video games PERIOD. He's held that title for over two decades. He was so creepy that he got a huge role in Captain N the Game Master as one of the right hand men of Mother Brain. (Okay he was more comedy relief here, but for him to even be in the program, shows how infamous he was.) When you mention eggplant to a person who's played Kid Icarus to this day I can guarantee they cringe a little inside. Even when I posted about Uprising on this blog 2 years ago, the first comment was from Jubell screaming
"EGGPLANT!!!!"

The original Eggplant Wizards:

In the original game he was listed as a character found in all stages. In Kid Icarus Uprising I can only recall 2 rooms that he lingers in.

His importance as an enemy continued to grow in Kid Icarus Of Myths and Monsters.

Eggplant Wizards were so well hated/loved that Nintendo Power used them prominently on the pages of their of Myths and Monsters guide. There's 5 different shots of the Eggplant Wizard from the Game Boy game right there. How many does Uprising have? Try one. Someones role got reduced. :P

Now however, his once terrifying transformation has been reduced to a temporary status change. UGH..This is because the ground levels of Uprising are so basic, there was no way they could have included a maze like structure to hide a hospital in. At least not with out completely reworking that part of the game. (AKA doing it right.) And that is a SHAME. The game is set up so that the rooms he attacks you in, lock you in. So you can't even attempt to run after you get turned into an eggplant.

Worse still is the fact that they took away the jump feature. Yes that's right, Kid Icarus Uprising REMOVES basic game play from the original title, to bring you a better experience! (NOT.) With jumping no longer an option trying to move to safer ground, dodging enemies, etc. is no longer half as fun as it used to be. Basically in this game the Wizard appears and disappears shooting eggplants at you. So if you are hit, you can just stand in one place and dodge while you wait till it's gone, as he doesn't attempt to attack you physically and he's never really placed in rooms with other monsters. Your other choice if you like, is to run around like a chicken with it's head cut off. Which ever you prefer!
Another factor that bring his threat level down is his aim. The chances of those hitting you are pretty slim. The first time I met the Eggplant wizard, the deep fear that has lied dormant within me resurfaced and I found myself really concentrating on avoiding him with all my skill. Due to that, I made quick work of him. I can only recall one room he was in with other creatures and even there, you can just concentrate on him with nothing to really distract you. Would have been cool if he had been placed out of reach, on some high up ledge every now and then to rain vegetables down upon you. Seems like a good strategic game maker would have thought of that.

Sorry Nurse you're out of a job in Uprising. What a nice fuck you to the fans! Don't worry about that! Now the game is easier!!! Less stress = more forgettable game play!

La la la, I'm an eggplant. No tears kiddies! I'll just stand around looking cute for a few moments and be back to my angel self again in no time! Gunpei Yokoi is rolling around in his grave.

So, in order to band-aid solution this (and attempt to one up the original designers,) todays game makers invented a Tempura Wizard. What does he do? He attacks the same, but shooting instead fried shrimp at you. The twist is that he comes around and attempts to eat you once he transforms you. Not only is this super gross, it just feels like a failed fuck you to the creators of the original game. Like they wanted to make something even more devastating, but failed. Sure it's more hard core to get eaten, but it's not all that worse. If you die instantly it's a bad thing I guess. Or it would have been in the original Kid Icarus. Here however, you just lose some hearts. You will start pretty close to where you died, if not WHERE you died and you will start with a reduced difficulty level to boot. That's nothing compared to being transformed, wondering around panicking, helpless and hopeless for what feels like forever, looking all over for a hospital before you croak and have to do an entire dungeon maze again from scratch. That's punishment. That's a mind fuck. And there is nothing as relieving and rewarding as when you do find it and turn back into Pit and go back and kick that bastards ass. Tempura and Eggplant are NOW just mild inconveniences. Ones, that with the proper gear you can take care of yourself in a second. Way to keep the original characters alive and strong Nintendo.

The new Eggplant wizard:

Pretty cool design. Love the costume, not sure of the upward curve at middle top of his lips though. That makes him remind me a bit of King Deedeedee from Kirby for some reason.Let's look at the Tempura Wizard a bit. This enemy comes out of nowhere design wise. Even with that giant eye and staff he appears to have little in common with the Eggplant wizard. To me he just feels very silly and random. The Eggplant wizards design is very lightly based on the vegetable of the same name. In fact beside being purple, it's not really clear if he is an actual eggplant himself. He's really just a purple cyclops. Tampura, instead of having some subtle nods to the curse he inflicts, has skin made of batter. O__O Not exactly the most threatening enemy. A bold choice, but I wonder how long he lasts before he falls apart? Since Pit eats everything he can in the game, I can so see him picking at this guys skin. :P Shouldn't Pit be trying to eat his head? XD I don't really get why he has flame hair. Battered shrimp are deep fried, not cooked over an open flame. Is that spice? So he's a spicy guy? He's never given any kind of personality, or dialog, so I wouldn't know that. I can't even tell if that's supposed to be hair, or not. Maybe it's flame from his bowl. Why is there flame from his bowl? This character has such a busy design. @__@ For a creature that is supposed to be able to eat you, the designers didn't even leave room for a proper mouth. The entire head is a giant dead shrimp. That's not really very practical for hosting a functioning throat and mouth. Yeah I am nitpicking.

All in all he feels like a fan made character, not one that truly extends the legacy of the Eggplant Wizard. I don't think he's a terrible new character though. This guy does have potential. Had the levels been vaster and hospital present, it would have been even more frightening to have one of these things chase you through the rooms ala Evil Otto from Berzerk! If you linger too long in your search, I can see him appearing from the opposite side of a room, the camera swinging so that you'll notice his entrance. Sadly this was not implemented. Another problem with Tempura is that the game already has a one hit kill character that does the job Tampura Wizard is supposed to do 10 times better. I refer to the Ghastly Orne.

Now this thing is nasty. He even comes with his own creepy 8 bit sounding theme music as he chases your. The only problem is these things are so slow and lame! I have never been killed by one in a ground level and only once on a flying level. That was only cause I was distracted by something off screen. (It was right at the start of a level too, where I don't expect anyone thought a player would die.) Come to think of it, I was never eaten by Tempura either. Tell you one thing, ain't no kid played the original Kid Icarus that wasn't turned into an Eggplant in the first dungeon. These guys don't seem to be able to their job right. (Both characters and designers.)

The Tempura Wizard doesn't feel like it's part of the Eggplant family, because the point of the eggplant curse is to make you suffer through a situation that makes you feel helpless and volitile for a long period of time. Creating a creature that lives in a closed room, that turns you into something that can be eaten, ending the situation instantly, goes against the whole theme of the character. Had they made the transformation a little more perminant and included the chase feature throughout the level it would have grown the theme significanly. You would think the folks at Nitendo would be smart enough to realize that and that some fans would be able to instantly see the fault, but that's not how it works I guess. I really don't think the people that made this game were fans of, or undersood what made Kid Icarus special in the first place.

As stated, unlike previous games, death means very little in Kid Icarus Uprising. So I'm finished. Big deal. I restart where I was, I can change my gear and I start with a reduced difficulty. (You're forced to, there's no choice.) That's not helping me grow as a player, that's helping me cheat. I guess in this day and age Nintendo wants to make sure no player gets left behind. What a wonderful world it is! Maybe the Eggplant Wizard can hold Pits hand and guide him through the levels next game. Right now he can suck Pits dick for all I care...he's a joke. Thanks for screwing up my childhood again Nintendo.